Point/Counterpoint: The Stars and Bars

Ding, ding, Round 2! Quite some time ago Sergio and James debated people carrying rifles into public places, like Starbucks. Well, the time has come for these two to duke it out again; man to man, beard to beard, and wit to wit. Who will win? Nobody knows, all we know is it will be fun watching the girls walk around the ring carrying the round cards as these two heavyweights continue their philosophical fight...to the BAR! Let the battle begin!

"Burn the Stars and Bars, or Use Them as Diapers"

Over the course of time, things change, whether it’s in appearance or meaning, and this is no truer than with the Confederate flag, aka, the “stars and bars.”

I guess back in the day, and by “back in the day,” I mean over 150 years ago, the rebel flag was a symbol for those fighting to leave the Union. Well, I don’t see any of those traitors alive and kicking anymore so why keep the flag flying at the capitol building in South Carolina?

Pride? What pride is there to be had? Pride of something your great-great-great-great grand pappy did? Show me a picture of him reading you a bedtime story. I’m sorry, but in this country we celebrate winners, not losers. 

President Jefferson may have once wrote that he would let any state that wishes to, leave the Union, but thank God it was Lincoln who was in office when the time came when some states tried. Like the UK is stronger as a whole and not with a separate Scotland, we too, are stronger as a whole, but I digress.

I would like to ask those who support the flag being flown if they also support reparations for people who had slaves as ancestors. If you are reading this and support the flag, do you? When I hear people say “Keep the flag! My relatives fought with honor under it,” I cannot help but think of ancestors of slaves who yell, “Pay me money! My ancestor worked their ass off for it!” To me, these two arguments are one and the same – ridiculous. Both are so long dead, it is funny.

Did you know the swastika is an ancient religious symbol and remains one for several religions? Probably not, and that’s because back in the 1930s an asshole made it his party’s logo, and since then it’s only been known as a symbol of hate. Along the same line falls the Confederate flag – it longer stands for anything to do with what William Wallace would call, “FREEEEDOOMMM!”

Stubbornness is the only excuse for the rebel flag to still be flying – well, that and another reason, I’ll give you a hint, and it starts with “r” and ends with “aceism.” 

Will it be a tough fight to get the flag taken down in South Carolina? You bet, as it will take a 2/3 majority in both chambers of the state’s legislature and some are already putting their foot, or in this case, their cowboy boots down and swearing to fight it.  

That’s sad to me. How can they be so blind to the fact that the flag is now the symbol for all the rednecks who would rather go to a lynching than to a library? 

If you want to fly a rebel flag and bathe once a month, go right ahead, I’ll just stay down wind of you. However, my tax dollars should not be going to maintaining flags based on ignorance and racism, on public property.

Besides, if you fans of the Confederacy really wanted to be accurate and fly the last flag used for your cause, it should be all white. 

"Bless His Heart"

In the South, we know what this means. Depending on the circumstances, there actually could be a number of meanings. For example, if you tried your best to win a local marathon, but just couldn’t finish, I would say, “Bless your heart,” meaning: you gave it a good go against adversity. Yet, if you’re stupid or downright wrong (possibly ignorant on some issues), I would say, “Bless your heart,” meaning: you’re stupid or downright wrong (possibly ignorant on some issues). So, it saddens me to say this to a dear, dear friend, and I say it with all due respect, but, “James, bless your heart.” 

I guess back in the day, and by “back in the day,” I mean over 150 years ago, the rebel flag was a symbol for those fighting to leave the Union. Well, I don’t see any of those traitors alive and kicking anymore so why keep the flag flying at the capitol building in South Carolina?

Traitors? The constitution defines treason as giving aid and comfort to the enemy. The South would have loved to leave in peace, just as I am sure the colonists would have loved to have separated from Great Britain without a war. The South’s secession is no different from the colonists’ secession from Great Britain. Does he suggest we have Great Britain take us back? “Hey, mum, we was wrong; totally wrong. We belong to you. Here you go. It’s yours again. Just like it always should have been.”

Was Thomas Jefferson wrong when he wrote, in the Declaration of Independence by the way: “That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.”

If that’s wrong, what the hell else in that dad gum document is wrong? Is our whole country based on a lie?

Also, I don’t see anyone alive and kicking from the American War for Independence, so I have no clue why we are flying the flag of the United States of America.

I’m sorry, but in this country we celebrate winners, not losers.

The old might makes right theory. We won, so we are correct. You see, I follow this thing called the non-aggression principle (NAP): nobody has a right to harm you, take tour property, or commit fraud against you. Now, the NAP applies to countries as well; we libertarians are finicky like that, not wanting governments to do things us regular people would go to prison for. Now, you can support this, which entails natural and just law, or the I-kicked-your-ass-so-I’m-correct theory. But if you support the latter, wouldn’t you support, oh, I don’t know, slavery since the slave owner won? Or rape? The rapist won, right?

I would like to ask those who support the flag being flown if they also support reparations for people who had slaves as ancestors. If you are reading this and support the flag, do you? When I hear people say “Keep the flag! My relatives fought with honor under it,” I cannot help but think of ancestors of slaves who yell, “Pay me money! My ancestor worked their ass off for it!” To me, these two arguments are one and the same – ridiculous. Both are so long dead, it is funny.

I am guilty as charged because I do support reparations. Remember the NAP? I’m going to put kidnapping under taking property since you own your self. Oh, it was legal back then to kidnap Africans and make them work for you against their will? I think we can agree that law was not exactly thought out well. Now, here’s where economist Walter Block sums my point up best:

Justified reparations are nothing more and nothing less than the forced return of stolen property-even after a significant amount of time has passed. For example, if my grandfather stole a ring from your grandfather, and then bequeathed it to me through the intermediation of my father, then I am, presently, the illegitimate owner of that piece of jewelry. To take the position that reparations are always and forever unjustified is to give an imprimatur to theft, provided a sufficient time period has elapsed. In the just society, your father would have inherited the ring from his own parent, and then given it to you. It is thus not a violation of property rights. Precisely the same analysis applies to slavery. Those people who owned slaves in the pre-civil war U.S. were guilty of the crime of kidnaping…

Like Mr. Block, I believe it is not the government who should pay up, but the family. So, since reparations are not ridiculous, neither is flying the rebel battle flag.

Stubbornness is the only excuse for the rebel flag to still be flying – well, that and another reason, I’ll give you a hint, and it starts with “r” and ends with “aceism.”

My lovely friend is insinuating that the South was, and is, racist. I guess it doesn’t exist in the North. No, wait, some people would disagree and wrote articles about the North’s current racism: (http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jun/24/racism-us-north-south-confederate-flag and http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/opinion/sunday/when-will-the-north-face-its-racism.html?_r=0). Now how can racism, without a flag that supposedly means racism, exist in the North?

And they were pretty racist back in the day, too. Take the Brown family of Rhode Island: he was one of the biggest slave traders in the country at the time. He used the ports in Newport and Providence to import human beings and then sell them down south. Brown University, which bears his name, was created with slave labor. Also, don’t forget these amazing words by good ol’ Abe Lincoln: “Senator Douglas remarked… this government was made for the white people and not for negroes. Why, in point of mere fact, I think so too.” And: “I say that we must not interfere with the institution of slavery . . . because the constitution forbids it, and the general welfare does not require us to do so.” You can find more Lincoln quotes on how he really felt in the book The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln by the man himself. Get yours today! (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/143447710X?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creativeASIN=143447710X&linkCode=xm2&tag=lewrockwell)

The flag in question also flies in southern Italy. Why? You can do an internet search, but it’s because they, too, had their “lost cause.” What we call northern Italy wanted unification (you see, prior to 1861, there was no Italy; just the top of a boot that was independent, and a bottom of a boot that was independent) with what we now call southern Italy. Southern Italians felt that that a unified land would not have their best interests, so they fought, and lost. They feel it parallels the South in the U.S. It’s also why southern Italians fought for the Confederate States of America; it wasn’t because they believed in slavery.

Racism comes from within. Maybe people learn it. The symbol they use, or what they took and misappropriated, does not change this. Eliminating an inanimate object will never rid us of racism. And how far do we go to eliminate what are symbols of hate? Are we going to remove the Lincoln Monument? My friend’s tax dollars are paying for that. Do we demolish Brown University? I don’t have the answers, but I do know that there has been lazy thinking happening around this flag (the battle flag of the Army of Northern Virginia; it is not the flag of the Confederacy).

Hey Assholes, No Vote is Ever Wasted

Sweet Lord, it's been way too long since we have added anything here. Being awesome takes up a lot of time, and in my case, it sometimes keeps me distracted. Well, have no fear - we're back!

Over the past several months, a lot has happened: ISIS/ISIL has taken over a large portion of Iraq, Scotland sadly did not vote in favor of independence from the UK, an Ebola outbreak started just in time for flu season sending everyone running for the nearest sterilized room, and the Republicans took control of the US Senate. Seats that should not have been won by the GOP were, or were damn close to being won.

Now, for those who have been reading our posts for a while, you know I lean libertarian. That does not mean however, that I always vote for a candidate from the Libertarian Party. I vote for whomever I feel is the best person for the job. Sometimes it is the third party candidate who gets my vote, however; a Republican or a Democrat can just as easily earn my vote if I believe they will best represent my views, and the district I reside in.

Currently, I live in northern Virginia and as such I had a choice this election to vote for the incumbent Mark Warner, who is a Democrat, the Republican candidate, Ed Gillespie, or Robert Sarvis, who ran as a Libertarian. Since there was no way in Hell I was going to vote for Warner, (Sen. Harry Reid had to be kicked out of his position as Senate Majority Leader), it was between Gillespie and Sarvis. In the end, Gillespie earned my vote because Sarvis, when he ran for governor of Virginia was possibly funded by Democrats and because I felt Gillespie was the best man for the job.

The votes were close between Warner and Gillespie, with Warner earning 1,071,282 votes, or, 49.16% of the total votes, and Gillespie earning 1,054,556 votes, or, 48.39% of the total votes cast. Less than 20,000 votes separated the two in a state President Obama defeated Gov. Romney by over 100,000 votes in the 2012 Presidential Election.

Ok, so what about Sarvis? How many votes did he earn? The Libertarian candidate received 53,396 votes, making some of the local radio personnel really, and I mean REALLY pissed off.

Every morning on my way into work I listen mainly to a radio show that deals with local, and national politics and has a pretty conservative slant to it. I listen to this particular station because the hosts are fairly entertaining and they have decent guests on during their program. The day after the election however, with Gillespie having lost, (he took a day or so to actually concede the election), the hosts sounded like whiny bitches, and when I say "bitches," I mean full on, head over their heels, whiny bitches.

While both hosts were complaining about the number of votes Sarvis earned from the voters, one in particular used his time on the radio to speak down to voters who called in stating why they voted for the Libertarian. "They wasted their vote," was a common theme and phrase used throughout the morning by the two radio hosts. The bigger of the two assholes would speak to their callers like he was a disapproving parent or teacher.

Sorry, dickhead, but we aren't your pupils, and we sure as hell aren't your kids. We are your listening public, and your show lives and dies from ads and ratings. Without listeners you get neither, and the way you acted on 5 November tells me you deserve neither.

No vote, and I mean NO vote that is cast is a wasted vote when the voter believes the candidate that receives their vote, earned it.

By now you may have noticed that I say votes are "earned," and that's because they are. No vote is deserved. I vote for the person who will best represent me in DC, or locally - it does not matter which party the candidate is affiliated with. Since I take a lot of time to be an educated voter, it really fucking pisses me off that some dipshits with a microphone think they can talk down to me and say I wasted my vote if I did not vote for who they supported.

Heeeey motherfuckers, this is America, land of the free, home of the brave. If you don't like voters having choices, or the whole voting process in general, I humbly suggest that you move to a country with an absolute monarchy - I hear Saudi Arabia is nice this time of year.

Bearders, and beardettes, voting is an important part of this country. It enables us to choose by popular vote, and the Electoral College during presidential elections, who represents us. If you feel that the person you vote for best represents you, it doesn't matter who you vote for. No vote cast is ever, and I mean EVER wasted.

Don't let turd-burglars let you think you wasted your vote because you voted for a third party or any other candidate for that matter that they did not support. I don't.

Point/Counterpoint: Open Carrying Rifles in Establishments

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BoF Stands Behind Professor Paul Roof

Bearders and beardettes, in a totally unchristian move this past week, Charleston Southern University, (CSU), sociology professor Paul Roof was apparently fired for something he could not control…the use of his likeliness.

For those of you unfamiliar with Paul, he sports an epic beard and moustache and is known throughout the competition circuit and is himself a champion of several of the events.

So why did he get fired? Well, back in 2013 he was photographed at an event in Las Vegas and after the image was used on promotional posters, Holy City Brewing used the image on the labels for their cans of Chucktown Follicle Brown beer. While Roof did not know his image would be placed on the side of cans, it did not deter the university, which is affiliated with the S.C. Baptist Convention, from firing Roof because in their words, the picture was “not an image for the Christian environment.” How very Christian of the university.

We could probably flip through the New Testament, and even probably the Old on too, and find several quotes from the real holy rollers on just how fucked up this is. Pictures are taken of us daily, and they aren’t always taken by those we know. Hell, at the park someone might take your picture unbeknownst to you and a few days later your face could be on a beer label of its own. Should you be fired from your job for this? We think not.

In light of this travesty, and to point out that what happened to Paul could happen to anyone, someone should start putting the image of CSU President Dr. Jairy C. Hunter Jr on random homemade products. They could start with a beer, (like our can above), and then move up the evolutionary product chain by making “JCH Dildos and Other Sex Toys.” We will then be able to see if the university really stands behind their views if they fire his ass too.

What happened to Paul Roof should be a reminder to us all that there are a lot of assholes out there who would rather remain blind to the fact that they are wrong. Paul Roof should be reinstated immediately to his former position at CSU, (if he wants it), and the administration of the university should line up and kiss his ass while asking for his forgiveness.

When Home, Bergdahl Will Have Some Explaining to Do

It’s been a while since I have written anything here, so, yesterday when I heard that Army SGT Bowe Bergdahl was released into US custody by the Taliban in a prisoner exchange, I finally got the itch to write again.

While it must be a great feeling for his family to know that he is finally coming home after five years in captivity, when he does get back to the states and Army personnel get a chance to talk to him, questions must be asked and he must provide the answers to them.

First up, how the hell was he caught in the first place? It has been long reported and thought that then PFC Bergdahl may have walked off the base on his own, for an unknown reason. Maybe he wanted to hitchhike home, or perhaps he was tricked into leaving by a local national. Who knows? Bowe knows, and he must thoroughly explain how he left.

Did he tell his captors anything, and if so, what? Taliban personnel cut the heads off their own people, so, what was so special about him? Sure, Bergdahl is an American, and to the Taliban that is worth something, however, was he really worth toting around for five years, hiding and feeding him, if Bowe himself wasn’t “feeding” them anything? Who knows? Bergdahl’s higher-ups should soon.

With whom does his allegiance lie with now? Sorry, but it has to be asked. Since yesterday several of my military friends have brought up the HBO show “Homeland” and how his release reminds them of the show. Apparently on the show a Marine was captured, then released eight years later, only to find that he is now a terrorist and he tries to kill our vice president. #spoileralert. The Army needs to know what effect five years of captivity had on him. We must not have any more Nidal Hasan type events occurring on our bases.

Who did we release to get him back? Hopefully no one we will see on the nightly news in the future concerning a terrorist attack against us.

The unfortunate thing about all this is that while these questions should be asked, whether or not they actually are asked is a different story because unfortunately, these questions aren’t “politically correct.” Well, sorry, but I don’t care. I was deployed to Iraq when Bergdahl was taken by the Taliban and after seeing in the news that he may walked off on his own, I have always lacked pity for him.

If then PFC Bergdahl truly did walk off his base on his own he needs to be held accountable through a court martial, and if found guilty, sentenced to time in a military prison for desertion and knocked down to the Army’s lowest rank.

Think that is harsh, well, how many millions of US dollars do you think have been spent on recovering Bergdahl? Were any US military personnel killed in missions to find him? If he did desert, were their deaths, or the money spent, really worth getting him back? I know I wouldn’t trade the lives of any of my Marine friends for someone who deserted.

So, there you have it, my thoughts on the release of SGT Bowe Bergdahl. I really hope he was captured kicking and screaming and had to be silenced somehow to get him off his base, and if that was how it happened, I will admit I am wrong. There is probably a 110% chance he is going to get a book deal and a movie, (I am thinking a Lifetime made for TV movie), deal out of this. Hopefully, these deals won’t be going to a deserter.

Should the Government Give Me Pussy Payments?

So much talk lately about the economy. Raise the minimum wage! The Government needs to bail out (fill in the blank) business! This got me thinking about women.

You see, the most attractive women I can get with rate about a six on a scale of ten. What do you think that does to my self-esteem?

The majority of women out there don’t even want to fuck me. It’d be nice to have sex with more women.

So, I think the government should force six different women who would be considered an eight out of ten to have sex with me five times a week.

Sound stupid? I don’t think so.

Gagging on Gaga?

Meat dresses, giant hair, masks, and bile. What do they all have in common? If you said something that Lady Gaga worn, you would be correct.  I'm sure most have heard already, but, last week during a concert Lady Gaga had a "vomit painter" puke green paint all over her during the show.  Ah yes, vomit painting.  Bulimic beauty.  Nothing says expression like shoving your fingers down your throat and emptying
the contents of your stomach all over something.  Yes, Lady Gaga is at it again with her antics.

Lady Gaga is actually very talented in staying in the media spotlight.  She has a great method.  Drop album, make crazy music video, do something outlandish.  It gets views. It keeps people interested even if it's not always in a positive way.  Any news is good news right?  I'm all about performers putting on great shows but when does it go from being a great performance and focusing on music to just pulling a stunt.  In this day and age shock value is almost a legitimate product though.  I guess Gaga will be Gaga after all.

Now let's focus on the actual performance.  It happened when Lady Gaga performed her song "Swine".  It started off rather normal for a Lady Gaga song but partway through it a girl that originally looked like an awkward background dancer, wearing what looked like discount Hot Topic attire and electrical tape, drank a pint of green paint and proceeded to throat-bang herself with her fingers.  As she continued to finger-fuck her throat she moved closer to Lady Gaga and delivered the recently ingested paint all over the front of Lady Gaga.  Voila!  A masterpiece!  I'm sure this was supposed to have some sort of really deep meaning, however, it really resembled something out of The Exorcist or maybe some goop from that green Slimer guy from Ghostbusters.  Instead of calling Father Merrin to perform an exorcism though, both women climb onto a giant mechanical pig.  While riding this giant porcine contraption the vomit painter continued to gag all over Gaga.  Lady Gaga would later refer to this as "art in it's purest form".  If this is art, then every college frat bathroom is a fucking Guggenheim.  Seriously, what's next, shit art?  Take some Ex-Lax and blow your ass out all over a blank canvas and say it's representing something from your soul instead of something from your sphincter? "I poured my soul into this!"  No, you poured your ass onto it.

This is why I have trouble getting into a lot of art these days.  Covering yourself in paint and rolling around doesn't make you a genius, it just makes you a sticky mess.  Puking all over a canvas or a shock-pop artist doesn't make you a visionary, it just makes you a calorie deficient moron with bad breath.  Scribbling chalk all over a chalkboard doesn't make you any type of artist, it just makes you a lazy asshole.  I've seen far better art in my local comic store but nobody is sitting around going "Oh my god it's so deep and meaningful" even though it takes many more hours to create than the aforementioned "masterpieces" and actual thought and skill.  Why?  Probably because who it's created by and created for, aren't pretentious douchebags.  Also Gaga should wake up and realize that most of her fans don't care for her messages...whatever those may be, they only care that her songs are catchy.  "Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah Roma-roma-mamaa Ga-ga-ooh-la-la" is about as deep as a pee drip.  Leave the meaning and messages to those not covered in regurgitated Dutch Boy.

Benefits for All, or Benefits for None

About two weeks ago a judge in Virginia, my current place of residence, ruled the state’s ban on gay marriage to be unconstitutional, and then immediately put an injunction on her own ruling due to probable appeals. While Rob and I have stated we don’t care what two consensual adults do with one another in the bedroom on our Facebook page, we have not written anything for the blog, so I thought I would stand atop my virtual soapbox and give you my two cents, which here, due to inflation it is really worth about a nickel.

When it comes to social issues, specifically ones dealing with issues concerning straights and gays, it is normally on religious grounds that people are not for gay marriages, gay adoptions, and gay (fill in the blank). So, to get the religious aspect out of the way first, I will be up front and say I am a Catholic who converted from the Baptist religion over 13 years ago. As a Catholic I support the Church’s opinion that marriage is a religious pact between a man, a woman and God. But you know what? When it comes to our government, religious beliefs should have no part when it comes to making laws. So why do they?

For those of you reading this who think states should be allowed to keep two men or two women from getting married, why is that? If you don’t think a gay marriage should be recognized, why should a state or our government recognize straight marriages? There is no reason, or excuse to recognize one, without recognizing the other, and vice versa.

Many believe that gay marriage is a civil right, and after thinking long and hard on this, I have to say that I agree that is it. Gay men and women can no more change their sexual preference than an African American their color, and the way I see it, we are about 50 years behind in helping the gay community get the rights it deserves.

Oh, you think gay marriage will destroy the sanctity of marriage? Bitch please, assholes like Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, Brittney Spears and Jason Alexander, Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra, Mario Lopez and Ali Landry, Nicholas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley, and Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock, and many more already did that.

The divorce rate in the US hovers around the 50% mark, so it’s not just the celebrities who are working hard to screw things up. So why then deny two loving people the right to get married? Who knows, maybe the divorce rate will go down, at least for a bit until gay couples find out marriage may not be all that it’s thought to be, (I will add though that my parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary last year and they are as happy as can be, but sadly long, successful (they made me right?) marriages such as theirs are the exception to the rule nowadays).

Even still, the real reason two loving people should be able to get married is because everyone should have a right to get the same benefits straights are provided. Why should straights get benefits from the government if gays cannot? I say, if you want your state to be able to keep a ban on gay marriage, then straight couples should not be able to get benefits either. A husband should not be able to name his wife a beneficiary or name them their power of attorney in case of a medical emergency if a man cannot name his male partner the same.

Think states aren’t anti-gay? Well, did you know that 16 states still have anti-sodomy laws on their books, and two of them, Oklahoma and Texas, (go figure), specifically target the gay community? It was 17 a few weeks ago, with three states targeting gays specifically, however, the state of Kansas recently had their law thrown out, and I am very proud to say that a college friend of mine wrote the brief for the state arguing the law should be repealed. To read decision of the Court, go here: Kansas v. Franco.

This is a hot issue and quite frankly, if you disagree with me, I hope it pisses you off. We don’t beat around the bushes at Beards of Fury, we plow through them. There is no reason whatsoever from the standpoint of the federal or any state’s government that two consensual adults should not be able to get the same rights offered others.

Three Things My Mental Illness Has Taught Me about People without a Mental Illness

I guess the cat’s out of the bag (I wonder where that expression came from?). Some of you knew. Some of you may have suspected. Some you knew something just wasn’t quite right, but couldn’t put your finger on it. Having borderline personality disorder (BPD) isn’t exactly fun. In a nutshell, people with BPD “feel emotions more easily, more deeply, and for longer” than others; there are impulsive behaviors that vary between people with BPD (mine are reckless spending and alcohol abuse, just to name two); there’s also the fear of adornment and rejection; a feeling of emptiness; dissociation; and self-harm. Between the suicide attempts and failed relationships with friends, family, and significant others, I have learned at least three things about how others perceive me (and, of course, those with BPD and other mental illnesses).

One: Having BPD (or any other mental illness) is the only disease where you can get yelled at for having. If you learn a family member, friend, or significant other had cancer, odds are you wouldn’t yell at them and tell them to buck up. Not so with BPD. I’ve been yelled at numerous times, by people who know what I suffer from, to stop acting the way I do; I need to “suck it up,” and “get over it.” Here’s a newsflash: if I could “suck it up,” and “get over it,” I wouldn’t have a mental illness. Yes, everybody gets depressed; however, normal people can get over it, quickly. To skip all the science stuff, my brain is not “wired” like a normal person’s.

Two: People with BPD are manipulative, selfish, dicks. I’m just going to let Melissa Valliant, editor-in-chief of HellaWella, address this one. Go ahead Melissa.

“The idea that people suffering from BPD are selfish, manipulative jerks has probably evolved from those who have been hurt by loved ones with BPD. Recent studies have concluded that people with BPD either have a distorted sense of generally accepted social norms, or that they may not sense these norms at all, according to PsychCentral.com. This leads to behaving in ways that negatively impact trust and cooperation with others.

“BPD sufferers also have difficulty seeing gray areas and tend to perceive everything as black and white, good or bad — which, as you can imagine, causes challenges in communication. People in relationships with people with BPD often feel manipulated, taken advantage of or controlled due to such BPD-typical behavior as ‘threats, no-win situations, the “silent treatment,” rages and other methods [the non-BPD sufferer] views as unfair,’ according to BPDCentral.com.

“It’s important to understand that this is not intentional. BPD sufferers are often terrified of losing the loved ones in their lives; their irrational behavior is usually an act of desperation and impulsiveness stemming from the fear of abandonment. BPDCentral suggests it’s a ‘desperate attempt to cope with painful feelings or to get their needs met without the aim of harming others.’”

Three: It’s OK to label me as crazy and completely decide I should no longer be in your social circle. Now, really, who’s selfish? Ninety-nine percent of my “friends,” some of my family members, and others who fall into a different category of relationships, decided to do just what people with BPD fear: abandon them. Then have the nerve to say, “What’s his problem?” And they can totally blame it on “craziness.” No need to understand. It’s easier to just cut the cord. If I suffered from, say, testicular cancer, and these people did that, they would be the ones society looked down on. But, since I’m “crazy,” they made a good decision to keep me and my “negativity” out of their life, and, most likely, tell everybody how nuts I am, how selfish I am, how manipulative I am, and how much of an ass I am.

Are there more things I learned about people and how they view me? Of course. But, these are the three things I wanted to address. Now, I’m certain people will be upset at me for writing this, thinking I’m trying to do them harm; I’m not. Believe it or not, BPD, and other forms of depression, are quite common. Hell, you could have it and not know it, or somebody you now may have it. Or now you suspect they have it. What needs to happen is to have these myths and stereotypes debunked. I think that can only happen by talking about it. I wish I could “get over it,” and have a relationship where it doesn’t look like I’m treating the person “unfairly.” If it doesn’t get out there, you’ll have people end up like me: feeling worthless, empty, abandoned, never leaving your house and mixing with society because you know that, even though you don’t mean to, they think you’re hurting them and you just don’t want to do that to people.